By Giving Value
A shift in focus from getting to giving not only feels great, it has practical and positive benefits to every area of life, including the physical, emotional, relational, spiritual, and the financial.
Physically, studies show that givers are healthier. Yes, physically healthier! Emotionally, taking the focus off yourself and turning it onto helping others (what we call moving from a “self-focus” to an “other-focus”) makes you happier and more fulfilled. Relationally, the strongest marriages and other relationships grow from a foundation of putting others ahead of ourselves. Spiritually, you are more likely to feel in tune with your beliefs.
And financially? Yes, it’s even true here, too. While this might seem counter-intuitive, the fact is that those who give the most in value are by far the most successful. This is because when you focus on adding value to the people with whom you do business, they recognize this value. Immediately? Not always. Eventually? Absolutely.
Booker T. Washington said, “No man who continues to add something to the material, intellectual and moral well-being of the place in which he lives is left long without proper rewards.” He was referring to people who add value to those around them.
Merriam-Webster’s defines value as “the property or aggregate properties of a thing which makes it useful or desirable.” In other words, that quality which translates into worth in the mind of another.
Your value to others is derived from and defined by what you give. This includes (but is not limited to) time, money, a kind word, a pat on the back, a business referral, a listening ear, encouragement- even a product or service. The person who comes from a giving place seeks to add value to all. Focus on constantly adding value in everything you do, and to everyone you meet.
A “giving spirit” is not one of self-sacrifice, co-dependence or martyrdom. The martyr still sees the dualism between helping oneself and helping others, and views the two as being in conflict. The true giver sees no such conflict. The true giver knows that giving is a tide that raises all ships.
Let’s use the example of building business relationships. Many see “networking” as a way to hit up people for business- they’ll talk all about how great their product or service is and how it might be in your best interest to do business with them. Yes, expressing some interest in the other person is involved in this scenario, but only insofar as it helps the person who believes they are networking.
We define networking as the cultivating of mutually beneficial, GIVE-and-take, win/win relationships. You can see the emphasis is on the give part. Genuinely caring about the other person- their wants, their needs and their desires- with a true desire to add value to their lives, creates an environment wherein your value shines through.
The Golden Rule of business networking says: “All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like and trust.” It’s through that “other-focus” that you’ll elicit these feelings in people toward you. And for good reason. They’ll know you genuinely have their interests at heart.
There’s a temptation to want our business relationships (and our personal ones) to be 50/50. But the true networker, the Go-Giver, understands that the best relationships and most productive are not 50/50 but simply 100%. Focus on the other person’s victory. In fact, make your victory about their victory.
Again, we’re not talking about being self-sacrificial. Not one bit! If you take the attitude of the Go-Giver, the ongoing provider of value to others, before long you’ll find that you have planted so many seeds of good will- of great will- that you’ll have a wide network of people who know you, like you, trust you and who want to see you succeed. They will, in return, want to help you find new business and want to be a part of your life… you will have created what we call a “benevolent context” for your success.
Focus on the giving while being open to receiving the abundance that you have earned and you’ll find that your business will become a lot more fun, a lot less stressful and- absolutely- a lot more profitable. And you’ll be able to say the same for the other areas of your life, as well.
The degree to which you focus on constantly and consistently adding value to others will determine your worth, in the heart and in the marketplace. High value will translate into high income, high health, positive relationships, and a magnificent feeling of self-worth.
Bob Burg and John David Mann are coauthors of The Go-Giver
(www.TheGoGiver.com)
Find them at www.burg.com and www.johndavidmann.com
