The tools of effective communication are basic. Here’s a communication skills checklist for a quick refresher:

Eye contact: The next time you are at an event, have a look around the room. How many people are actually looking at the person they are talking with? The expression “shifty eyed” came about for a reason. When you are conveying something important, stay focused on your receiver. Saying “I’m sorry to hear that” or describing a key point while looking past their left shoulder kills the impact of your words.

Body language: Crossing your arms or legs does send a message,
as does shifting away or leaning towards
someone. Be aware of yourself, and keep your words and body language
consistent with each other.

Active listening: Nodding your head, making encouraging sounds, leaning
forward and good eye contact all tell someone you are listening to them. Wait a beat before you respond to make sure they are truly finished speaking. Good listeners stand out, especially in these days of constant external stimulus.

Checking in: Don’t assume. Re-frame, summarize or rephrase what you have heard. “So, if I’ve got this right….”, “I just want to clarify…”, “Can I recap?” all tell your partner in conversation that you have been listening and offerS them an opportunity to clarify. It’s critical in any business discussion- equally important in personal ones. Miscommunication results in time loss and in relationships lost, and can often be avoided by simply checking in.

Feedback: Giving effective feedback is tricky. Here’s a couple of things to keep in mind:
•    Ask permission before you offer a suggestion or advice, i.e. “Can I make a suggestion?”or “I have an idea- would you be open to some feedback on that?”.
•    Be specific. Telling an employee that they are doing a “good job” is nice, but unhelpful; giving them an example of something they did helps illustrate what you consider to be a “good job”.The same principle applies to constructive feedback- be specific about what the action was, what the result was, and what could be done next time (engage the receiver in the problem-solving).

Think before you speak: If you’ve been asked a difficult question, tell the person doing the asking that you need to think about your answer, or re-frame the question (“so what you’re asking is…”), to buy time. Either way, you are showing respect for the question asked.
Elementary, maybe. Fundamental, yes!

Submitted by Jacquie Thillaye
www.shapecommunications.ca